May6
As many who read this know I am a member of this site named @protagonize. Protag (as we call it) is a collaborative writing site, what that means is it’s a place to come together with other authors and create truly amazing bits of writing. Some authors have gone on to have books published like Tasha Noble with her Paddytum story (which topped the protag charts for eons). Those who have known me for a while will already be aware of the content of this post as I’ve talked about it before.
A conversation I had with a dear friend I met on the site shortly after I joined put everything into the forefront for me again so I felt compelled to write this post. To be honest reader, this post isn’t totally for you, mostly it’s for me to work through some things in my brain and how I feel about protag.
See, when I first joined I was really intimidated. The majority of the authors were older than me, and they were all far more talented. I debated for days about joining a collaboration for fear that I would mess it up. My first several posts were solo stories. And, in fact, my first attempt at a collab, I messed up!
In a story by G2 she included the following Author’s Guidance for her story “A Touch of Madness”
I want you to imagine that society has deemed the creative and/or intelligent unfit to be a part of society. That the creative/intelligent folks need to be “put away” somewhere, somehow. What happens to the creative folks? Preferably, I’d like this to fit you; in other words, you should think about this from either your “self-self” perspective or your “Protag-self” perspective. But you can change it up if you want, I really don’t mind.
She wrote a story of extended guidance as her introduction and by then I decided to just go ahead and jump into the story! MAN I was nervous! Turned out, she had in mind a series of shorts, rather than the intro to a continuous collab that I wrote. Right away when I found out I replaced my post with:
******************** Coming Soon *********************
On account of Asheyna’s inability to follow directions.
*********************************************************
And apologized for messing up her story. But the idea, the idea was cool, and the dear friend I mentioned earlier? He thought so too. So, instead of being disrespectful and hijacking her story I started a new one called Free Your Mind and unleashed a monster.
The journey I went through while that story topped the Hot Stories charts and its descent into chaos outlines all of the issues I’ve had with collaborative writing. It began with a few people posting often. We would follow on each other’s coat tails, writing about the previous chapter and had developed a really neat flow to the story. Then, slowly, the story started to devolve. People were so anxious to jump aboard the “hot story” they disregarded Author’s Guidance, comments, notes and critiques. Anyone who knew me during that time probably got a bit of my pulling my hair out while ranting about this or that. (Many thanks btw, for those who kept me sane and kept with the original story).
Free Your Mind grew to an amazing (and at the time record-breaking) 124 chapters. And for the most part each chapter was well thought out, interesting, and kept the story moving. The authors attempted to work together to maintain continuity and I furiously attempted to keep the Guidance updated so as to make their job easier. But, alas, it died out, much to my relief at the time. The direction the story was heading when it died was so far from what we, the few core authors, had envisioned at the beginning. Much appreciation to darkliquid, Archi, G2, Robynn, Dru, Kaiser, Afroferret and Faltarego for a seriously amazing story.
So what did the mess that FYM was teach me? Collaboration is HARD! Even harder without respect, yes respect. That’s what it’s about in my mind. My creations are dear to me, characters live in my head like friends and every time I sit down to write I refuse to put up anything I’m not proud of. I work hard at my craft, striving always to be even better than I was before. I welcome critiques, even if at the time they hurt my feelings. Let’s face it, we all want to hear our work is perfect and without fault… the truth is, it’s not. The comments and critiques help me get better. It’s been just over a year since I joined Protagonize and I can honestly say I’ve grown in all areas.
Without Protag I never would have met so many dear friends. The friendships I’ve begun alone make the experience (however trying at times) worth it. Through them I heard about this crazy thing called NaNoWriMo and never would have written my first novel. My writing has, in my mind, improved; largely through challenging myself to tackle stories that weren’t necessarily my style. Like a double dactyl poem called Bardishly Speaking or fanfiction like A Squib at Hogwarts? (thanks faltarego for that btw) or my latest crazy project which is both morally and ethically challenging, Ten. Before Protag I wrote little bits and pieces, messing about with ideas generally along the same lines and often with main characters who oddly enough resembled me quite strongly.
Writing is about growing, none of us are perfect, although I’ve met some authors whose craft is pretty damn close. Whether we’re a teenager exploring what this whole “being an author” thing is about, or a seasoned writer aiming for that illustrious goal of getting our first book published… we all need to grow. And that is what Protagonize was all about for me. Approaching every story with a touch of reverence, a dab of respect, and a healthy dose of fear that everything was about to go horribly wrong.
That all sounds a bit like a eulogy doesn’t it? In a way it is. I’m mourning the loss of a dear friend while its evil twin is mocking me all the while. The old Protagonize is gone, and it will never be the same. It has the potential to grow into something better, the incredible @NickB has some changes planned for the site such as groups (which have been implemented) and stories restricted to these groups which can be made invite only, and a very cool interface for editors to scout out new talent.
Is it too late? I had a publisher email me recently and one of the things that came out of our conversation was her impression that Protagonize was a site mainly for the early teen crowd and didn’t have much in the way of mature talent. This was underlined once again for me when @Papablue posted the following thread:
Anyone here is the legal drinking age? At first glance, everyone seems to be in high school.
Any … adults on Protagonize or just kids young writers?
And then his follow up later:
Well, the old guys should be more active in the stories also! Or am I just looking in the wrong places?
What are old people writing about these days?
Come on, old people, gather ’round.
So, Papablue, my answer is this: We aren’t really all that active any more. At least this “adult” (I’m not old and I’m barely an adult lol) isn’t. Why? Because I feel like I’ve been beaten out. You know when you have this awesome spot and then one person starts kinda inching their way in, and then more, and then a whole crowd. And before you even realize what was happening you’re standing WAAAY over there watching all these people trash your spot?
I’ve tried getting involved, I’ve tried working with the younger crowd, helping them to grow as a writer. I’ve spent time reading their posts and giving them helpful tips while trying not to scream. Offered suggestions for minor changes to help their contributions actually work within the story. I’ve yet to have one of them take it with any sort of appreciation. Reactions range from: “im just havin fun lolololololol” to out and out sulking. Two things to say to that:
A) If you’re just having fun, don’t ASK FOR COMMENTS!!!
B) If you want to write as part of a proper collaborative team people are going to have critiques and suggests for you, that’s sort of the point. All of us working together in order to get better. If this is not something you’re interested in, don’t join.
That last comment may make me seem like an elitist or that I’m trying to be cliquey, and I am and I’m not. I will write with anyone willing to learn and grow as a writer. I’m far from perfect and even recently have had comments on what I’ve written in order to make it better, including my pet peeve…. continuity issues.
So now I’m torn. I’m banging my head against a brick wall and the only thing it’s doing is giving me a headache. Until this morning I had been content to leave Protagonize behind me and move onto other things. The most recent series of events on there had completely soured me on the site. Then Monty came along with his comments, thoughts and opinions and he’s got me rethinking it.
The way I see it I’m left with few options. I can post things on Protagonize that I don’t care of someone comes along and destroys, but that’s not my style. I care deeply about everything I write. So then is the answer to become an elitist? Make a flat out policy that I don’t collab at all? Or turn cliquey, and refuse to write with anyone outside of a select few?
I don’t have the answers and am open to thoughts and comments from anyone willing to give me a moment of their time.
Thanks for listening,
Ash